How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

You could be a happy mum if the children would only stop fighting or did as they were told. You could enjoy motherhood more if your partner did more housework or gave you more time out. Or if you had more money, right?

Well, here's the thing. If you wait for the behaviour of your children/husband or your financial status to reach certain conditions in order for you to be happy, you are placing your happiness into someone or something else's hands, and thus it becomes purely by chance that you will experience happiness.

Why not put the power to be happy back into your own hands by becoming personally responsible for it? You cannot control another person's behaviour, but you can control your own. Here are just five tips that will help you to become a happier mum, enjoy motherhood and control how much happiness you experience in your life:

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

1. Observe your thoughts

What are you saying to yourself? Become the observer and analyse what you say to yourself and the effect it has on your emotions. Often anger arises when we continue negative dialogues with ourselves which escalates into external outrage. Also, we can get attached to an idea or picture we create of how something needs to be done or how an outcome should look. We often compare current life to the one we had before children. When you become a parent, housework cannot get done in 6 hour sessions anymore. You cannot take off for a weekend away alone without prior organising and planning. The reality is that life has changed and you have to consciously change the way you think about your current lifestyle. Consider whether your expectations are realistic or whether you are stuck in the past and the way you used to be able to do things.

2. Accept the NOW

Whatever you are experiencing, that is what you are experiencing. There is nothing positive that comes from wishing it were another way, or hating the way that it is. Become the observer to unenjoyable situations (eg tantrum, disobedience) with acceptance, rather than resistance. If you are angry, observe the anger. EXPERIENCE the event and all that it entails (your reaction, emotions, thoughts, circumstances) and accept it as it is. Resistance causes you to stay stuck in it, acceptance helps you detach, become more objective about it and handle it smoother. "Okay, it is what it is, so what am I going to do about it?"

3. Know what you want

We often get stuck in our problems because we don't take time to consider what we really want. Do I want more time out? Do I want to be calmer? Do I want to improve my relationship? Be specific about what exactly this entails. Do I want 4 hours of time out, or a day, or a week? Know what you want, so that you can then create a plan to get it.

4. Be Solution Focussed

Next, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to get what I want?' then resource how to fix this problem and create a plan to achieve it. Find behaviour strategies, learn skills, take time- out if that's what you want. Put your attention on the solution and how you are going to move out of this unenjoyable situation, rather than staying stuck in the problem.

5. Personal Development. Get to know the YOU Inside the Mum.

What about you? Take the time to learn about yourself, build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Find ways to overcome bad habits, handle past issues that often present themselves when becoming a mum, learn how you have become the person you are and consciously work towards being who you want to be.

The final piece to the Happy Mum puzzle is to seek happiness from inside yourself. When you learn true self-love and inner peace, it will radiate out into your external world and you will experience a happier life. You will interact differently with your children and that will be reciprocated in their behaviour. You will experience deeper relationships, overcome the lows of life quicker and experience more of the highs of life.

Enjoy motherhood by putting the responsibility to enjoy life back into your hands and discover yourself from the inside out.

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!
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Want more Self Help and Personal Development information specifically in the context of raising children? You can achieve calmness, balance and happiness by putting yourself back in charge of your life. Vist http://www.selfhelpformums.com and find The Happy Mum Handbook - a unique and must have book for mums that gives you the tools to change the way you feel about your life, be happy, and still be the good mother you aspire to be. You can free yourself from motherhood stress and the best news is that you can do all this in 5 simple, easy to remember steps.

The Happy Mum Handbook covers topics such as: Finding happiness, controlling your mindset, handling anger and guilt, discovering your personal identity, time Management, time Out, and creating the ultimate relationship with your partner.

At last you can have your cake and eat it too and be available to yourself and your kids. You don't have to wait for your children to reach a certain developmental age, go to school, or turn 18.

Learn how to live a happy and inspirational life TODAY at Self Help for Mums.

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10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

If you're down in the dumps for disproportionately long periods of time and you find yourself blaming the rest of the world for your misery, then perhaps a change of attitude is in order. These 10 tips for positive thinking may be able to give your outlook in life its much needed overhaul. So increase your chances for a more constructive perspective with these 10 tips for positive thinking:

1. Recognize negative thoughts as they take shape and bury them before they take root. If you feel your mood darkening again, put a stop to these dangerous musings before you succumb to them. Rule your emotions, don't let your emotions rule you.

2. Hang out with people who think positive as well. This condition can be quite infectious.

10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

3. Just as contagious is a negative mindset. So avoid people who tend to think negatively on a constant basis. After all, who wants to hang around naysayers all the time?

4. Work out and eat right. If you look good on the outside, it'll be easier to feel good on the inside, too.

5. De-clutter. Surround yourself only with the things you love and that make you feel good--framed family photos, favorite books, potted plants, works of art, or whatever else that's meaningful to you.

6. If people tell you you can't do something, take that as a challenge and prove them wrong. Chances are, they themselves can't do it or are too afraid to try and are simply bitter about it. If you show them it can be done after all, maybe they'll even be inspired by your success. You can be a living tip for positive thinking to them.

7. Just when you're about to blow your top for all the seeming misfortunes that befall you, remind yourself of all your blessings instead. This practice can be very sobering, indeed.

8. Be a volunteer or get involved in charity work. Not only will you realize the sheer number of people who have bigger problems than you do, but there is also such an emotional and even spiritual high to be experienced in helping others.

9. De-stress. You're more likely to be cranky if you're perpetually stressed out. So get away from it all and recharge.

10. Keep it up. Getting started is easy. It's the maintenance that's tricky. Make a habit out of thinking positively till it becomes an indelible part of who you are.

Follow these 10 tips for positive thinking and be successful in your search for a happier and healthier frame of mind.

10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind
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What, Who is A Mother?

Is she the one who brings us into this world? Or is she the one who cares for us, feeds us, looks after us and loves us like no other? Many would get baffled at the perplexity and the apparent simplicity of this question.

To me, a mother is not just the one who brings us into this world. A mother who gives birth, and then leaves the child on the road to die; will you call her a mother? In contrast, a woman who has not given birth to that child (on the road) but takes her home and treats the child as if he were her own, is she not a mother? And, in fact, a better mother than the mother who originally gave birth to that child?

We celebrate Mothers' Day. Why? For we rejoice and acknowledge their contribution to the society and mankind as a whole. I bow to all mothers in this world. I celebrate the spirit of motherhood. The power God has placed in the hands of a woman is incredible; the power to reproduce, the power to give birth to life. Without which, mankind would cease to exist. Admit it, men. You are because of women. It is only a woman who can give birth, you only 'help'. So respect women.

What, Who is A Mother?

The first teacher of a child is his mother alone. She is the one who inculcates the values the child lives with for his life. She is the one who takes the finger and teaches us to walk. She is the impersonation of God on this earth. Let us salute the mother in every woman.

Mother, we love you. For whoever you are, whatever you are.

What, Who is A Mother?
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The Beauty of Motherhood

Being a mother is both a beautiful and challenging life long event. Once you become a mother it never stops, it is eternal. Motherhood can help you find humor out of anything whether is being pooped and peed on, your 5 year old saying his stomach hurts because he has "massage stones" like his grandpa or realizing you haven't did your hair in a week. Embrace it. They can be the happiest days of your life. You don't get money from being a mother but you do actually get watch as someone that was once inside of you blossom into an adult. There is no other feeling like that of the maternal urge. So all you mommies to-be, get ready. You are in for an experience of a lifetime!

You learn on a daily basis, you make mistakes and you may laugh or cry. Don't be nervous about having to raise a extension of yourself, some believe that having a child is the end of their life but actually it is a new beginning. You don't have to completely say good bye to your social life rather you might find the old and the new integrating created a healthy balance for both. Keep in mind that this whole world is new for Baby and you are his/her guide and protector. Don't be afraid to act silly, make noises or funny faces. Reminisce on how your maternal figure probably made you feel loved and focus on that. Don't be afraid to nurture or discipline.

Motherhood is your time to find new and innovative ways to raise a healthy, sound-minded person. Read up on motherhood issues like potty training, appropriate discipline and developmental techniques. Follow your first mind if it doesn't sound right for you then don't force it. Only you will know what you are comfortable with for your child. As time goes on, you will have a routine and then have to change it. It can be frustrating at first but being a mommy teaches versatility and patience. Keep in mind that you are the best mother you can be and practice saying that over and over in your head. It will be needed for those times of insecurity that sometimes come along with parenthood. If you don't know the answer to some question you may have, ask your own mommy or someone you can get advice that you can trust. Some things re learned by experience, others by asking and some you just stumble upon.

The Beauty of Motherhood

One of the best parts of being "Mommy" is knowing you are giving them the best at all times. The best has nothing to do with materialistic items but more to do with what you are contributing to them as a person. So when the terrible twos, threes and fours hit, be conscious of the fact that you were once a child too. We go through a lot of stages in life but once you are a mother, you will always be one. Enjoy your new path of motherhood.

The Beauty of Motherhood
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Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women

Are middle-aged women "hot"?

While having coffee with the "guys" one afternoon, one of the most loquacious in the group suddenly told a story of a friend who prefers to lay women between the ages of 35 to 45. His reason? Women in this age bracket are generally "hot".

Though his epiphany was taken as a joke by the others (men well over their 50s but prefer girls in their 20s) I did not. I prefer women in this age bracket (have dated a few from my social networking site), not because they are "hot," but because they are better in bed.

Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women

Is there a sex life among middle-aged women?

Oh yes, plenty. But you have to search them out. Because a lot of them have theirs "on hold" for relationship problems or from previous traumatic experiences. A significant many have theirs in ICU.

Am I kidding? No!

A survey done by a women's sexual health advocacy group shows that 79% of middle-aged women experience some loss of sexual desire and a whopping 40% of that have no desire at all.

Reasons for this are:

Medical:

At mid-life women enter the realm of perimenopausal or menopausal period. At this stage, their hormone production begins to change. Estrogen (a hormone necessary for reproduction) and progesterone (a hormone necessary to allow the fertilized egg to grow and develop into a baby and to help in the breasts' to manufacture milk) production starts to decline, coming to a full stop at post-menopausal period.

This decline triggers a similar decline in their tiny amounts of testosterone (a hormone responsible for regulating sex drive).

These changes not only affect a middle-aged woman's sexual desires, they also cause vaginal dryness (one of the major sexual health problems among women) making stimulation difficult, penetration painful.

Having sex with a middle-aged woman is like a siege, not raid. Patience and perseverance are necessary to claim the prize.

Personal:

To be a wife and a mother is not easy. Then you put in career, which a lot of modern-day women are so conscious of, and you go to bed with a woman too tired and stressed-out to have sleep, not sex, in her mind.

A lot of women in mid-life are confronted with several issues that impact their sensuality, i.e., motherhood, career, declining physical features, husbands who are uncharacteristically coming home late, relationship issues, health issues common to women, etc..

These erode their self-confidence; make them doubt their attractiveness and desirability; make them fearful of not being able to make out (but not to decline the opportunity exists).

A middle-aged woman need to be talked to, to be assured that, not withstanding her poor estimation of herself, she is still very sexually attractive and can make a man go crazy with desire if only she turns on her charms.

She needs to be whispered to, touched, and made to feel like a woman. She needs to be seduced.

If you can do that, then you might well find out that women between the ages 35 and 45 are "hot."

Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women
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Joseph Dabon

I blog, http://joespulpbits.com/, about the subject that thrills me most - health and happiness issues for the elderly.

I am also a freelance writer on wide variety of subjects, i.e., health and fitness, online business, personal improvement and motivation, press releases.

I am not a guru but I can be your partner in your writing needs..

Message me at dabon.joseph@yahoo.com. You can also tweet me or get in touch with me in Facebook, Google ++ or LinkedIn.

Your business is my business.

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What is Management?

Management is different from leadership but just as important. To understand the nature of management, we need to be clear how it differs from leadership. The first step in answering the question: "What is management?" is to understand the basic tasks of all organizations. Like any other species, an organization needs to take care of its immediate business of survival but it also has to evolve to ensure its fitness to cope with changes in the environment and the actions of competing species.

Management is the function that organizes the execution of today's business. Leadership is the evolutionary mechanism that changes organizations to prosper in tomorrow's world. Whenever a species or individual animal runs into obstacles, variations occur and new forms are selected from those variations. Leadership is a risk taking type of action that explores new frontiers and promotes new ways of behaving. It follows that, in a stable environment, good management is all that is needed to prosper; leadership in this context isn't required.

This portrayal is not the popular one where leadership means being the top dog in a group regardless of what's going on in the environment. Also, management has been cast on the rubbish heap since the late 1970's following the initial wave of Japanese commercial success in the West. We wanted a scapegoat for our failure to compete with the Japanese, and management was fingered for this role. Jack Welsh, Tom Peters and other gurus called for more leadership and an end to management, which they saw as stifling innovation. The reality was that a lack of competition created a complacent attitude AND lackluster management. It was the way management was practiced that was the problem, not anything to do with management as a function. We simply needed to upgrade management for a new reality.

What is Management?

Being hierarchical by nature and inclined to worship heroes, we tend to regard the person in charge of our group as a leader. But complexity demands specialization and executives need to perform multiple roles that depend on the unique demands of their situation. If their main function is to maintain quality, low cost and good customer service while motivating employees to perform to their potential, then they are performing the management function, not showing leadership.

Management is like investment. Managers have resources to invest - their own time and talent as well as human and financial resources. The goal or function of management is to get the best return on those resources by getting things done efficiently. This doesn't entail being mechanical. The manager's style is a contextual issue. With highly skilled and self-motivated knowledge workers, the manager can be very empowering. Where the workforce is less skilled or motivated, the manager may need to monitor output more closely. By saying that management is a function, not a type of person or role, we better account for self-managed work teams where no one is in charge. Managemenet simply makes the best use of all resources even when we manage ourselves. Hence management does not necessarily entail a dictatorial, controlling overseer. Skilled managers know how to coach and motivate diverse employees. Getting things done through people is what they do.

The aim of management is to deliver results cost effectively in line with customer expectations and profitably, in the case of commercial organizations. It is not only leaders who can be inspiring. Inspiring leaders move us to change direction while inspiring managers motivate us to work harder.

Management is a vital function thanks to the complexity of modern organizational life. The need to coordinate the input of so many diverse stakeholders, experts and customers requires enormous patience and highly developed facilitative skills. Excellent managers know how to bring the right people together and, by asking the right questions, draw the best solutions out of them. To facilitate well requires managers to work very closely with all relevant stakeholders.

By contrast, the leader can be a bit of an outsider. Like Martin Luther King, Jr. promoting desegregation on buses to the U.S. government from the sidelines, the leader can induce people to change even with no direct involvement or authority over the people who are needed to take the hoped for action.

Managers don't just keep ongoing operations ticking over. They also manage complex projects like making a modern movie or putting the first man on the moon. Leadership is only required to sell the tickets for the journey or to resell it periodically if resistance develops, but management drives the bus to the destination.

What is Management?
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See http://www.lead2xl.com for more articles like this one. Mitch McCrimmon has over 30 years experience in executive assessment and coaching. His latest book, Burn! 7 Leadership Myths in Ashes, 2006, challenges conventional thinking on leadership.

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