Monday, December 24, 2012

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

You could be a happy mum if the children would only stop fighting or did as they were told. You could enjoy motherhood more if your partner did more housework or gave you more time out. Or if you had more money, right?

Well, here's the thing. If you wait for the behaviour of your children/husband or your financial status to reach certain conditions in order for you to be happy, you are placing your happiness into someone or something else's hands, and thus it becomes purely by chance that you will experience happiness.

Why not put the power to be happy back into your own hands by becoming personally responsible for it? You cannot control another person's behaviour, but you can control your own. Here are just five tips that will help you to become a happier mum, enjoy motherhood and control how much happiness you experience in your life:

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!

1. Observe your thoughts

What are you saying to yourself? Become the observer and analyse what you say to yourself and the effect it has on your emotions. Often anger arises when we continue negative dialogues with ourselves which escalates into external outrage. Also, we can get attached to an idea or picture we create of how something needs to be done or how an outcome should look. We often compare current life to the one we had before children. When you become a parent, housework cannot get done in 6 hour sessions anymore. You cannot take off for a weekend away alone without prior organising and planning. The reality is that life has changed and you have to consciously change the way you think about your current lifestyle. Consider whether your expectations are realistic or whether you are stuck in the past and the way you used to be able to do things.

2. Accept the NOW

Whatever you are experiencing, that is what you are experiencing. There is nothing positive that comes from wishing it were another way, or hating the way that it is. Become the observer to unenjoyable situations (eg tantrum, disobedience) with acceptance, rather than resistance. If you are angry, observe the anger. EXPERIENCE the event and all that it entails (your reaction, emotions, thoughts, circumstances) and accept it as it is. Resistance causes you to stay stuck in it, acceptance helps you detach, become more objective about it and handle it smoother. "Okay, it is what it is, so what am I going to do about it?"

3. Know what you want

We often get stuck in our problems because we don't take time to consider what we really want. Do I want more time out? Do I want to be calmer? Do I want to improve my relationship? Be specific about what exactly this entails. Do I want 4 hours of time out, or a day, or a week? Know what you want, so that you can then create a plan to get it.

4. Be Solution Focussed

Next, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to get what I want?' then resource how to fix this problem and create a plan to achieve it. Find behaviour strategies, learn skills, take time- out if that's what you want. Put your attention on the solution and how you are going to move out of this unenjoyable situation, rather than staying stuck in the problem.

5. Personal Development. Get to know the YOU Inside the Mum.

What about you? Take the time to learn about yourself, build your self-esteem and self-confidence. Find ways to overcome bad habits, handle past issues that often present themselves when becoming a mum, learn how you have become the person you are and consciously work towards being who you want to be.

The final piece to the Happy Mum puzzle is to seek happiness from inside yourself. When you learn true self-love and inner peace, it will radiate out into your external world and you will experience a happier life. You will interact differently with your children and that will be reciprocated in their behaviour. You will experience deeper relationships, overcome the lows of life quicker and experience more of the highs of life.

Enjoy motherhood by putting the responsibility to enjoy life back into your hands and discover yourself from the inside out.

How to Be a Happy Mum - Five Self Help Tips to Enjoy Motherhood!
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Want more Self Help and Personal Development information specifically in the context of raising children? You can achieve calmness, balance and happiness by putting yourself back in charge of your life. Vist http://www.selfhelpformums.com and find The Happy Mum Handbook - a unique and must have book for mums that gives you the tools to change the way you feel about your life, be happy, and still be the good mother you aspire to be. You can free yourself from motherhood stress and the best news is that you can do all this in 5 simple, easy to remember steps.

The Happy Mum Handbook covers topics such as: Finding happiness, controlling your mindset, handling anger and guilt, discovering your personal identity, time Management, time Out, and creating the ultimate relationship with your partner.

At last you can have your cake and eat it too and be available to yourself and your kids. You don't have to wait for your children to reach a certain developmental age, go to school, or turn 18.

Learn how to live a happy and inspirational life TODAY at Self Help for Mums.

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Friday, December 21, 2012

10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

If you're down in the dumps for disproportionately long periods of time and you find yourself blaming the rest of the world for your misery, then perhaps a change of attitude is in order. These 10 tips for positive thinking may be able to give your outlook in life its much needed overhaul. So increase your chances for a more constructive perspective with these 10 tips for positive thinking:

1. Recognize negative thoughts as they take shape and bury them before they take root. If you feel your mood darkening again, put a stop to these dangerous musings before you succumb to them. Rule your emotions, don't let your emotions rule you.

2. Hang out with people who think positive as well. This condition can be quite infectious.

10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind

3. Just as contagious is a negative mindset. So avoid people who tend to think negatively on a constant basis. After all, who wants to hang around naysayers all the time?

4. Work out and eat right. If you look good on the outside, it'll be easier to feel good on the inside, too.

5. De-clutter. Surround yourself only with the things you love and that make you feel good--framed family photos, favorite books, potted plants, works of art, or whatever else that's meaningful to you.

6. If people tell you you can't do something, take that as a challenge and prove them wrong. Chances are, they themselves can't do it or are too afraid to try and are simply bitter about it. If you show them it can be done after all, maybe they'll even be inspired by your success. You can be a living tip for positive thinking to them.

7. Just when you're about to blow your top for all the seeming misfortunes that befall you, remind yourself of all your blessings instead. This practice can be very sobering, indeed.

8. Be a volunteer or get involved in charity work. Not only will you realize the sheer number of people who have bigger problems than you do, but there is also such an emotional and even spiritual high to be experienced in helping others.

9. De-stress. You're more likely to be cranky if you're perpetually stressed out. So get away from it all and recharge.

10. Keep it up. Getting started is easy. It's the maintenance that's tricky. Make a habit out of thinking positively till it becomes an indelible part of who you are.

Follow these 10 tips for positive thinking and be successful in your search for a happier and healthier frame of mind.

10 Tips for Positive Thinking - Tips for a Happier and Healthier Frame of Mind
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Monday, December 17, 2012

What, Who is A Mother?

Is she the one who brings us into this world? Or is she the one who cares for us, feeds us, looks after us and loves us like no other? Many would get baffled at the perplexity and the apparent simplicity of this question.

To me, a mother is not just the one who brings us into this world. A mother who gives birth, and then leaves the child on the road to die; will you call her a mother? In contrast, a woman who has not given birth to that child (on the road) but takes her home and treats the child as if he were her own, is she not a mother? And, in fact, a better mother than the mother who originally gave birth to that child?

We celebrate Mothers' Day. Why? For we rejoice and acknowledge their contribution to the society and mankind as a whole. I bow to all mothers in this world. I celebrate the spirit of motherhood. The power God has placed in the hands of a woman is incredible; the power to reproduce, the power to give birth to life. Without which, mankind would cease to exist. Admit it, men. You are because of women. It is only a woman who can give birth, you only 'help'. So respect women.

What, Who is A Mother?

The first teacher of a child is his mother alone. She is the one who inculcates the values the child lives with for his life. She is the one who takes the finger and teaches us to walk. She is the impersonation of God on this earth. Let us salute the mother in every woman.

Mother, we love you. For whoever you are, whatever you are.

What, Who is A Mother?
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Friday, December 14, 2012

The Beauty of Motherhood

Being a mother is both a beautiful and challenging life long event. Once you become a mother it never stops, it is eternal. Motherhood can help you find humor out of anything whether is being pooped and peed on, your 5 year old saying his stomach hurts because he has "massage stones" like his grandpa or realizing you haven't did your hair in a week. Embrace it. They can be the happiest days of your life. You don't get money from being a mother but you do actually get watch as someone that was once inside of you blossom into an adult. There is no other feeling like that of the maternal urge. So all you mommies to-be, get ready. You are in for an experience of a lifetime!

You learn on a daily basis, you make mistakes and you may laugh or cry. Don't be nervous about having to raise a extension of yourself, some believe that having a child is the end of their life but actually it is a new beginning. You don't have to completely say good bye to your social life rather you might find the old and the new integrating created a healthy balance for both. Keep in mind that this whole world is new for Baby and you are his/her guide and protector. Don't be afraid to act silly, make noises or funny faces. Reminisce on how your maternal figure probably made you feel loved and focus on that. Don't be afraid to nurture or discipline.

Motherhood is your time to find new and innovative ways to raise a healthy, sound-minded person. Read up on motherhood issues like potty training, appropriate discipline and developmental techniques. Follow your first mind if it doesn't sound right for you then don't force it. Only you will know what you are comfortable with for your child. As time goes on, you will have a routine and then have to change it. It can be frustrating at first but being a mommy teaches versatility and patience. Keep in mind that you are the best mother you can be and practice saying that over and over in your head. It will be needed for those times of insecurity that sometimes come along with parenthood. If you don't know the answer to some question you may have, ask your own mommy or someone you can get advice that you can trust. Some things re learned by experience, others by asking and some you just stumble upon.

The Beauty of Motherhood

One of the best parts of being "Mommy" is knowing you are giving them the best at all times. The best has nothing to do with materialistic items but more to do with what you are contributing to them as a person. So when the terrible twos, threes and fours hit, be conscious of the fact that you were once a child too. We go through a lot of stages in life but once you are a mother, you will always be one. Enjoy your new path of motherhood.

The Beauty of Motherhood
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Saturday, December 8, 2012

Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women

Are middle-aged women "hot"?

While having coffee with the "guys" one afternoon, one of the most loquacious in the group suddenly told a story of a friend who prefers to lay women between the ages of 35 to 45. His reason? Women in this age bracket are generally "hot".

Though his epiphany was taken as a joke by the others (men well over their 50s but prefer girls in their 20s) I did not. I prefer women in this age bracket (have dated a few from my social networking site), not because they are "hot," but because they are better in bed.

Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women

Is there a sex life among middle-aged women?

Oh yes, plenty. But you have to search them out. Because a lot of them have theirs "on hold" for relationship problems or from previous traumatic experiences. A significant many have theirs in ICU.

Am I kidding? No!

A survey done by a women's sexual health advocacy group shows that 79% of middle-aged women experience some loss of sexual desire and a whopping 40% of that have no desire at all.

Reasons for this are:

Medical:

At mid-life women enter the realm of perimenopausal or menopausal period. At this stage, their hormone production begins to change. Estrogen (a hormone necessary for reproduction) and progesterone (a hormone necessary to allow the fertilized egg to grow and develop into a baby and to help in the breasts' to manufacture milk) production starts to decline, coming to a full stop at post-menopausal period.

This decline triggers a similar decline in their tiny amounts of testosterone (a hormone responsible for regulating sex drive).

These changes not only affect a middle-aged woman's sexual desires, they also cause vaginal dryness (one of the major sexual health problems among women) making stimulation difficult, penetration painful.

Having sex with a middle-aged woman is like a siege, not raid. Patience and perseverance are necessary to claim the prize.

Personal:

To be a wife and a mother is not easy. Then you put in career, which a lot of modern-day women are so conscious of, and you go to bed with a woman too tired and stressed-out to have sleep, not sex, in her mind.

A lot of women in mid-life are confronted with several issues that impact their sensuality, i.e., motherhood, career, declining physical features, husbands who are uncharacteristically coming home late, relationship issues, health issues common to women, etc..

These erode their self-confidence; make them doubt their attractiveness and desirability; make them fearful of not being able to make out (but not to decline the opportunity exists).

A middle-aged woman need to be talked to, to be assured that, not withstanding her poor estimation of herself, she is still very sexually attractive and can make a man go crazy with desire if only she turns on her charms.

She needs to be whispered to, touched, and made to feel like a woman. She needs to be seduced.

If you can do that, then you might well find out that women between the ages 35 and 45 are "hot."

Sex Life of Middle-Aged Women
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Joseph Dabon

I blog, http://joespulpbits.com/, about the subject that thrills me most - health and happiness issues for the elderly.

I am also a freelance writer on wide variety of subjects, i.e., health and fitness, online business, personal improvement and motivation, press releases.

I am not a guru but I can be your partner in your writing needs..

Message me at dabon.joseph@yahoo.com. You can also tweet me or get in touch with me in Facebook, Google ++ or LinkedIn.

Your business is my business.

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Sunday, December 2, 2012

What is Management?

Management is different from leadership but just as important. To understand the nature of management, we need to be clear how it differs from leadership. The first step in answering the question: "What is management?" is to understand the basic tasks of all organizations. Like any other species, an organization needs to take care of its immediate business of survival but it also has to evolve to ensure its fitness to cope with changes in the environment and the actions of competing species.

Management is the function that organizes the execution of today's business. Leadership is the evolutionary mechanism that changes organizations to prosper in tomorrow's world. Whenever a species or individual animal runs into obstacles, variations occur and new forms are selected from those variations. Leadership is a risk taking type of action that explores new frontiers and promotes new ways of behaving. It follows that, in a stable environment, good management is all that is needed to prosper; leadership in this context isn't required.

This portrayal is not the popular one where leadership means being the top dog in a group regardless of what's going on in the environment. Also, management has been cast on the rubbish heap since the late 1970's following the initial wave of Japanese commercial success in the West. We wanted a scapegoat for our failure to compete with the Japanese, and management was fingered for this role. Jack Welsh, Tom Peters and other gurus called for more leadership and an end to management, which they saw as stifling innovation. The reality was that a lack of competition created a complacent attitude AND lackluster management. It was the way management was practiced that was the problem, not anything to do with management as a function. We simply needed to upgrade management for a new reality.

What is Management?

Being hierarchical by nature and inclined to worship heroes, we tend to regard the person in charge of our group as a leader. But complexity demands specialization and executives need to perform multiple roles that depend on the unique demands of their situation. If their main function is to maintain quality, low cost and good customer service while motivating employees to perform to their potential, then they are performing the management function, not showing leadership.

Management is like investment. Managers have resources to invest - their own time and talent as well as human and financial resources. The goal or function of management is to get the best return on those resources by getting things done efficiently. This doesn't entail being mechanical. The manager's style is a contextual issue. With highly skilled and self-motivated knowledge workers, the manager can be very empowering. Where the workforce is less skilled or motivated, the manager may need to monitor output more closely. By saying that management is a function, not a type of person or role, we better account for self-managed work teams where no one is in charge. Managemenet simply makes the best use of all resources even when we manage ourselves. Hence management does not necessarily entail a dictatorial, controlling overseer. Skilled managers know how to coach and motivate diverse employees. Getting things done through people is what they do.

The aim of management is to deliver results cost effectively in line with customer expectations and profitably, in the case of commercial organizations. It is not only leaders who can be inspiring. Inspiring leaders move us to change direction while inspiring managers motivate us to work harder.

Management is a vital function thanks to the complexity of modern organizational life. The need to coordinate the input of so many diverse stakeholders, experts and customers requires enormous patience and highly developed facilitative skills. Excellent managers know how to bring the right people together and, by asking the right questions, draw the best solutions out of them. To facilitate well requires managers to work very closely with all relevant stakeholders.

By contrast, the leader can be a bit of an outsider. Like Martin Luther King, Jr. promoting desegregation on buses to the U.S. government from the sidelines, the leader can induce people to change even with no direct involvement or authority over the people who are needed to take the hoped for action.

Managers don't just keep ongoing operations ticking over. They also manage complex projects like making a modern movie or putting the first man on the moon. Leadership is only required to sell the tickets for the journey or to resell it periodically if resistance develops, but management drives the bus to the destination.

What is Management?
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See http://www.lead2xl.com for more articles like this one. Mitch McCrimmon has over 30 years experience in executive assessment and coaching. His latest book, Burn! 7 Leadership Myths in Ashes, 2006, challenges conventional thinking on leadership.

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Friday, November 30, 2012

The Meaning of Flying in the Air in Dreams - Flying in an Airplane Or Helicopter

The scientific method of dream interpretation is in fact a translation from images into words. When you translate the meaning of the dream images and understand their messages, you'll learn what is really happening with you and with your life.

The information you receive is objective and you must respect its wisdom, even when you don't agree with the unconscious' statements, because you are too ignorant. The dream warnings will always save your life.

When you see yourself flying in the air as if you had the power to fly like a super man or super woman, this means that you are far from the objective reality, imagining things that are not real.

The Meaning of Flying in the Air in Dreams - Flying in an Airplane Or Helicopter

You must be very careful if you see yourself flying, because you may make very serious mistakes, exactly because you are not paying attention to reality as it is.

As an example of how dangerous the meaning of this image could be I can mention the dreams of a man who lost his wife because she committed suicide when their baby was only 4 months old. This tragedy was really unexpected, because this woman seemed to be balanced and mature. Her husband saw a series of dreams, in which the unconscious mind was explaining to him why his wife committed suicide and in one of them he saw her flying in the air.

Even though she seemed to be sensible, she was not analyzing reality with objectivity. This is why she became so afraid of motherhood. She didn't really understand what it meant to have a child before actually having it. The responsibility for this life frightened her too much because she was not prepared to face it.

When you are flying in the air you are making serious mistakes, lost in your fantastic world, which doesn't fit with reality as it is, and the consequences of this distance could be very bad.

Be afraid of your futility, and try to understand in which points you are wrong. Pay attention to the facts, and don't be naïve.

When you see in a dream that you are flying in an airplane, this means that you have attained a higher level of consciousness and you are able to understand things that you couldn't understand before. In other words, you have become wiser. So, this image has a very positive meaning.

If you see yourself flying in a helicopter though, things are not as good. This means that you are still far from real knowledge, only beginning to understand something that you have to study much more until you'll be able to understand it completely.

Your dreams reflect your behavior and help you correct all your mistakes, so that you may do only what will help you in your life, instead of becoming a slave of your primitive conscience and doing what will destroy your life and the lives of those who are around you.

They help you become more intelligent, as you learn what the wisdom of the unconscious mind that produces your dreams teaches you everyday, transforming your personality.

Now you have to learn what to do in order to stop being naïve if you have seen yourself flying in the air or what else you must learn in case you have seen yourself flying in a helicopter, or you have to understand exactly why you saw yourself flying in an airplane in a dream, so that you may notice your progress.

I hope that my explanations have convinced you that you must learn the extraordinary dream language and understand all the lessons that the unconscious mind sends you in dreams, because only by knowing that you are in danger, you cannot do anything. You must learn how to avoid a bad future and how to completely evolve.

The Meaning of Flying in the Air in Dreams - Flying in an Airplane Or Helicopter
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Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.
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Monday, November 26, 2012

How Did Colonial Rule Restructure the Gender Relations of Colonised People?

This article aims to evaluate the impact of colonial rule on the restructuring of gender relations with regards to Africa, paying specific attention to Ghana as a case study. It is widely agreed amongst political scholars that colonialism did significantly contribute to the reconstruction of gender relations in Africa. It is somewhat easy to make generalizations in the case of Africa, due to its vast continental size and several nation state divisions that each has its own background and religions. Moreover, Africa was not colonized by a single colonial rule but by a variety of European states that each had their own unique cultural backdrop and therefore left different impacts on distinctive regions of the continent. I wish to pursue the argument that colonialism did influence gender relations and most remarkably culminated in the demeaning and degradation of women's status in many spectrums.

Colonial rule reinforced the portrayal of women as being substandard and subservient, and depicted images of purity and propensity for child-rearing that did not have as much prominence prior to the influx of colonizers. Such exploitative gender relations were imposed during colonial rule with unfavourable outcomes for women. Unfortunately many of the prejudices have been maintained after decolonization, resulting in the discrimination of women in nationalist movements and in modern African institutions.

This article deals with analysis on how colonizers perceived the representation of women after arrival in Africa and how they went about restructuring and reinventing 'traditions' of social, economic, political, and sexual relations between the two sexes. In particular, I will investigate effects of altered gender relations in Ghana as a case study, with specific focus on women's perceptions of gender inequalities. Furthermore, I will explore the repercussions of the reconstructions in gender relations in Africa and furthermore the subsequent impacts on the status of women in post-colonial societies and the weakening of women's political institutions, and an examination of the work of nationalist movements to ameliorate gender relations of colonized peoples.

How Did Colonial Rule Restructure the Gender Relations of Colonised People?

Various approaches used to analyze African colonial politics, economies, societies, and cultures are often gender-blind, tending to ignore women's experiences, contributions, voices, perceptions, representations, and struggles. This started to change following the rise of feminist movements, which emerged out of both localized and transnational trajectories and intellectual and political struggles. While the struggles to mainstream women and gender have been gathering pace, African women have become increasingly more noticeable in histories of colonialism, which has disrupted the chronologies that tend to frame colonialism in Africa.

As the field of women's studies has expanded, African women have become more differentiated in terms of class, culture, and status, and their complex engagements, encounters, and negotiations with and against the wide range of forces described as colonial are now clearer. From the large and assorted flow of theoretical and methodological literature that has been generated in the last thirty years, vigorous debates are evident. One of the most intriguing is on the validity of the term gender itself, with writers such as Amadiume stressing the relative flexibility of sex and gender relations in pre-colonial Africa, and denying the existence of gender categories at all.

Indeed, the historiography of colonialism in Africa, many authors have tended to dichotomize the colonial experience between two monolithic groups, the colonial state and its African subjects. In so doing, they obscure the contradictions from each side, thus denying the agency of people whose status did not fit within the normative boundaries of this distinction. Perhaps the greatest injustice of this colonial historiography is its negation of the experiences of African women. By taking the generalized experience of certain African men as a normative reference point, many historians have effectively written African women out of history. Though they present themselves as universal histories of colonialism, these accounts deal exclusively with men's experiences.

In the early twenty-first century it is well established that colonialism had a paradoxical impact on different groups of women, although the dominant tendency was to undermine the position of women as a whole. Colonialism combined European and African patriarchal ideologies to create new practices, relations, and ideologies. Earlier work on colonial gender regimes focused on women in productive and business-related activities in the rural and urban areas and the acute tensions in gender relations that were created, to which the colonial state responded by tightening already restraining customary law, leading to significant changes in family structure and new forms of patriarchal power.

The area that attracted by far the most consideration was that of women's resistance to colonial rule. Studies ranged from those that examined specific activists and events to general analyses of women's involvement in nationalist struggles in various countries that demonstrated conclusively women's political engagements and contributions. More recent work has focused on issues of sexuality, constructions of gender identities, and colonial representations.

African sexuality and its authority and representations were central to ideologies of colonial supremacy. In colonial discourse, female bodies symbolized Africa as the conquered land, and the alleged sexual profligacy of African men and women made Africa an object of colonial desire and disdain, a wild space of pornographic pleasures in need of sexual regulation. Sexuality was implicated in all forms of colonial rule as an intimate encounter that could be used simultaneously to maintain and to corrode racial difference and as a process essential for reproducing human labor power for the colonial economy, both of which required close surveillance and management, especially of African female sexuality.

Feminist studies on the construction of gender identities and relations have helped initiate increasing literature on the establishment and transformation of colonial masculinities. Research on Southern Africa suggest that the colonial divisions of class and race produced different masculinities, some of which were dominant and hegemonic, and others, subordinate and subversive, although the latter received a patriarchal surplus over women of their class and race. These masculinities were produced and performed in different institutional contexts, each with its own gender regime and power relations, from the state, church, and school to the workplace and the home. Undeniably, masculinities changed over time and manifested themselves differently in rural and urban areas, where different gender systems existed and patterns of political, social, and political change took place.

Prior to colonization

Sudarkasa describes, in "The Status of Women", how African women used to occupy advantageous positions within their communities prior to colonization. Referring to societies in West Africa, she argues that women occupied the status of 'queen-mothers, queen-sisters, princesses, female-chiefs, and holders of other offices in most towns and villages'. Furthermore, division of labour among gender lines promoted mutual efforts whether it was in farming, trading or craft production.

When European missionaries arrived in Africa in the 19th century, they could not help themselves but look at African culture with a sense of racial superiority and a biased masculine gendered perspective. In fact, when they saw that the division of labor was equally divided between men and women they were astonished by the hard labor effectuated by African women and their endurance. They viewed the participation of women in these difficult activities as a sign of inferiority when in fact this labor gave women pride and economic independence. They also saw bride wealth and polygamy as well as other African cultural practices as barbarous and detrimental to women and it confirmed their view that the African people needed to be civilized under Western ideals.

As a result, missionaries actively started to infuse gendered stereotypes, which portrayed African women as victims in need of protection, "primitives" in need of civilization and potential deviants in need of containment. The role of women was limited to being a good mother and an exemplary housewife while men were identified as farmers and workers. It was in fact essential for colonial administrators to control women's sexuality and reproductive capacities by keeping them tied to the household because it held them to a virtually cost-free system of subsistence agriculture in the region.

Being the primary food producers, women were made responsible for taking care of the home and feeding the male workers who could therefore work freely for the colonial economy and grow cash crops; therefore the role of colonized women had to bear the costs of subsistence and reproduction of the male labor force. This explains why so much emphasis was put on the importance of monogamy, obedience and dedicated domesticity and why rural-urban migration was excluded for women. Colonized men were soon made accomplices in the subordination of women.

National archives actually show reports of exchanges between colonial officials and native authorities on the problems of women's sexuality and the rights of male relatives to control and have exclusive access to women's sexual services and reproductive capacities. Punishments and legal pursuits were made official by state law against prostitutes and women committing adultery or desertion. Also, fines were distributed to prohibit the impregnation of unmarried girls and the beating of women. In South Africa on the other hand, control over colonised women was exercised by binding a woman's legal status to her husband's therefore the only means for women to have access to citizenship and residence rights and to housing was through marriage.

The exclusion of women from the labor force, especially agriculture, was not only directly promoted through state laws and open gender discrimination but was also indirectly advanced through the industrialization of labor and the modernisation of agriculture. Mackenzie describes how colonisers used the argument that African methods of agriculture were outdated in order to promote European technological farming methods and legitimize policies of land isolation.

Nationalist movements

Colonisers' methods were imposed without any regard to local gender knowledge or ecological specificities and so female farmers, for whom agriculture was an area of expertise but also a source of income and subsistence, were made invisible and/or replaced by men. As a result, colonial influence on gender relations was incontestably detrimental to women as it precipitated their loss of political authority, their exclusion from agricultural and educational activities and led to the erosion of their rights and entitlements. Colonialism did not only alter gender relations during colonial times but it also affected women's representation and participation in nationalistic movements during and after decolonization. When nationalistic discourses and ideas started flourishing among male educated elites, they stressed the need to protect and free the nation from the colonizing forces.

The imagined home or nation was linked with ideas of security, familiarity and tradition and so women became central to the construction of nationalist discourses as biological reproducers of national groups, as reproducers of the boundaries of the nation and as transmitters of the cultural narratives of the nation. Thus, authentic culture became firmly attached to 'the body of the woman' and so notions of boundary, purity and chastity previously instilled by colonizers became closely linked with the idea of national identity and with the appropriate behavior of the patriotic woman.

The participation of women in the project of nation building has thus remained symbolic in most cases. In Algeria for example, women's participation in anti-colonial struggles has been effectively erased from the history of Arab nationalism because it does not fit in with the prototype of the ideal Muslim woman that belongs to the private sector, the world of reproduction and motherhood. In South Africa on the other hand, women's participation and representation in the national struggle is recognized but their role within the movement has remained subordinate and auxiliary: their role is defined by motherhood and is confined to building a nation for their husbands and children.

As a result, women in post-colonial African societies are still viewed as inferior to men. A woman's role has remained that of a mother and a wife whose sole goal is to maintain and promote traditional values because it is central to the survival of the authentic pre-colonial culture. To reject tradition would mean to reject nationalism and the risk of this is marginalization and de-legitimisation. The gender inequality maintained by African countries thus implies that citizenship has also remained differentially constructed for men and women.

In the next part of this essay, I will focus particularly on women in Ghana and various studies that have researched the their perceptions of gender relations and inequalities in the post-colonialist era in Ghana. Then I aim to explore the repercussions of the reconstructions in gender relations in Africa and furthermore the subsequent impacts on the status of women in post-colonial societies and the legacy left on women's political institutions.

Women's perspectives of gender relations in post-colonial Ghana

Women in Ghana, in a post-colonialist setting, still face discrimination and inequality in the Ghanaian society. This situation is still occurring decades after the first women's international conference and the United Nations CEDAW, as well as the Ghanaian Constitutional provisions of women's rights and equality.

Ghanaian women, in theory, have the constitutional right to enjoy equal rights and opportunities with their male counterparts, however, in practice they lag behind in almost all public spheres of life. They have lagged behind in political participation and decision-making, and also in expressing and enjoying their sexual and reproductive rights. Gender inequality has been attributed to institutional and structural barriers, in addition to women's multiple roles, cultural and customary barriers and negative attitudes and perception about women in general.

Since the first international women's conference in Mexico in 1975 and other subsequent conferences related to women and gender issues, the world has experienced profound political, economic and social changes that had implications for women everywhere. Ghana has a total population of 18,800,000 million people 51 percent of which are females and 49 percent of males. Many governments, including that of Ghana have endorsed various United Nations conventions and declarations to promote gender equality and to mainstream gender perspectives in all spheres of society. Sub-section 3 of section 27 provides that women shall be guaranteed equal rights without any impediments from any person.

Despite these international conventions and constitutional changes, relatively little has changed in terms of Ghanaian women's life experiences. They still continue to experience gender-based discrimination, hopelessness and relative poverty and social and political exclusion from active participation in the national development of their country.

In colonial times, women suffered oppression and domination by the patriarchal society in Ghana. Women were taught to accept their position through the socialisation process, including their initiation rites. They were taught to be obedient wives and to respect their elders. They were told that a man could marry more than one woman.

A number of themes emerged from a study by Marie Sossou based on women's own views, description and understanding of their own living situations in terms of their work loads, sexual and reproductive rights, food and political decision-making in Ghana. The findings of the study revealed admission of all women in Ghana, rural and urban, educated and uneducated, the lack of gender equality in almost all aspects of their lives in Ghana.

The lack of gender equality for women in Ghana does not differ significantly in terms of education, income and social class. Most had at least post-high school and some college education and they worked as professionals and semi-professionals in their various occupations.

One of the major themes identified as a factor hindering the attainment of gender equality in Ghana is the gender role of motherhood and household duties and chores. The birth of a child is an important aspect of any marriage in Ghana because it ensures the continuity of the family lineage and proof of a woman's fertility and the number of children she could bear.

On the whole, childbirth was seen as an essential role for women in society, either for the benefits it bestows upon the mother or for the honour it brings to her family. They stated they do all the housework in addition to taking care of the children and their husbands and they have no full control over their sexual and reproductive issues. Reproduction and work experiences of the women in Ghana are mostly taken for granted and regarded as gender roles. A consequence of the motherhood role is that the responsibility for childcare is seen primarily as a woman's job, leaving few opportunities for the advancement of urban careers and city networking.

Another factor that women in Ghana did not fully enjoy is sexual and reproductive rights. The International Conference on population and development held in Cairo in 1994 has accelerated the importance of women's sexual and reproductive health issues and gender-based power dynamics with regards to sexual relationships between men and women and women's right and control over their bodies. Previous studies have indicated that within marriages in sub-Saharan Africa, men typically have more say than women in the decision to use contraception and in the number of children that the couple wants to have and most couples avoid discussing family planning issues for various reasons.

The determiners of reproductive decisions within the Ghanaian family are members of the conjugal family, the extended family, and certain persons outside the family circle and the authority structure weighs heavily in favour of the men. It is evident that gender-based power in sexual relationships is unbalanced and women usually have less power than men.

Beliefs exist that women are good as cooks, sex providers and juniors are still persistent. For example, women are given ministries that are considered useless to the economy and therefore not so demanding. This is simply to prove the point that women cannot take on heavy time-consuming jobs. As a goal, it will not be reached overnight as a process and is ongoing.

The empowerment of women is not just an issue of women, but it is also a gender issue, which necessitates a re-examination of gender relations, which ultimately, will require changes made by men as well as by women. It is also a development issue, in that women who become empowered also become active not only in economic activities, but also active in exerting pressure and influence on political, social, and legal issues concerning women.

According to the Commonwealth Secretariat, patriarchy in addition to poverty, illiteracy and unemployment are other factors that increase women's vulnerability to gender-based violence and other related sexually transmitted diseases. It is significant that any meaningful engagement with sexual and reproductive rights should be addressed in reference to unequal gender relations between men and women.

The use of condoms by both men and women as a means for safe sex and protection has become a significant public health issue due to the HIV/AID epidemic. A number of educated urban women in Ghana regarded the issue of demanding safe sex as culturally sensitive and unacceptable to most men. Polygamy is common in many African countries including Ghana. The 1998 demographic health survey in Ghana indicates that 27.7 % of women are engaged in polygamous relationships.

The 1979 Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against women (CEDAW), have been instrumental in putting women's socio-economic and political participation and human rights issues on the public domain. Since then, a number of African countries have experienced some high rates of increase in women's representation and participation in political decision-making and holding of political offices on the continent. For example, Rwanda has become the one African country with the highest of 49 percent of women parliamentarians during that country's 2003 parliamentary elections.

In Ghana, women have not been very successful in altering their political and economic locations and have not kept pace with their men in gaining much access to political decision-making and participation. In 1995, out of a total of 200 seats, women occupied only 16 seats or formed eight percent of the parliamentary seats. This number has been increased to 10.9 percent or 25 seats out of a total of 230 seats in the national election in 2004.

The case study from above revealed the problems Ghanaian women face daily in their lives and how these problems shaped their views and impressions about themselves. The comments, views and opinions provided and expressed by Ghanaian women have shown the extent of societal discrimination and domination that the women experienced as part of their everyday life. In order to overcome the institutionalised power relations and bring about total transformation in the system, actual processes of empowerment have to occur at several levels. The empowerment process must challenge and modify the set of ideas, attitudes, beliefs and practices in gender relations at grassroots level, in institutions and structures such as in the family, the household, the villages, the market places, the churches and in the local communities. That is to say that change must come from bottom up, targeted in particular at a local level.

Legacy of colonialism as a gendered form of rule

There are numerous post-colonial predicaments, which have left an enduring legacy on African colonized peoples and African institutions. There is a growing tendency that identifies a colonially constructed regime of customary law concerning Africa's authentic traditions. As colonial states simultaneously attempted to exploit the productive capacity of their colonized subjects and maintain social order, the status of women and the significance of gender changed drastically throughout Africa. Various pre-colonial gender norms interacted with new forms of European colonial sexism in order to create a new highly gendered socio-political context.

However, African women were active agents in this process and often worked to maintain their economic autonomy and contest the definition of African femininity imposed by colonial authorities. Though they have often been portrayed as a homogenous group, African women were divided by a variety of factors, including class, socio-cultural background and proximity to governing powers. Lovett concludes that analyses of African gender relations must take into account the specifics of each state of affairs.

This rejection of African women's points of view ignores the gendered nature of colonialism. Perhaps most importantly, the homogenization of African women's experiences obscures the other factors that influence African women's lives, such as ethnicity, nationality and class. As part of a broader denial of African diversity within colonial thought, many scholars have made gross generalizations about pre-colonial African societies, contending that all Africans encountered colonialism from similar or identical locations.

The flowing nature of African colonial societies must be emphasized, challenging the dominant colonial perception of African society as a static entity that had been thrust into contact with dynamic colonial powers. State policies aimed at economic exploitation habitually negated plans for social order by engendering adaptation, protest and resistance by those the state sought to control. The state's attempt to accomplish these goals over many different pre-existing forms of social and economic organization led to new contexts in which gender was redefined and its significance restructured.

Colonialism is often viewed, both positively and negatively, as a one-way process in which the colonial state acted upon malleable, compliant colonial subjects in order to achieve its goals.Colonialism had a profound influence on gender relations in Africa and most remarkably culminated in the demeaning and degradation of women's status in contemporary Africa, as demonstrated by various studies regarding Ghanaian women.

Colonial rule reinforced the portrayal of women as being inferior and subservient, and reinforced sexual domination and images of motherhood that did not have as much prominence prior to the influx of colonizers. Such exploitative gender relations were imposed during colonial rule with many unfavourable consequences for women's status in African society.

Unfortunately many of the prejudices have been maintained and sustained after decolonization, resulting in the discrimination of women in nationalistic movements and in modern African society. Perhaps the greatest injustice can be found in certain colonial historiography that presented negation of the experiences of African women. Women's participation and representation in nationalist struggles is recognized but their role within the movement has remained subordinate and secondary: their main role is still primarily defined by motherhood and is confined to supporting a nation ruled by their husbands and children.

How Did Colonial Rule Restructure the Gender Relations of Colonised People?
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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Why Men Should Have No Say On The Abortion Issue

I had a discussion with a close male friend this week who says he is pro-choice - to
an extent. He went on for sometime sharing his views on abortion with me. While he
was talking I realized something very important - unless he is the father of the
fetus, what he says really doesn't matter because he's a man.

It really gets me steamed when a man sits in judgment of a woman who has had an
abortion. I just don't see how a man can speak to this issue at all. Why should men
need to establish any type of position at all on a subject that is clearly feminine by
nature? I know many are already cowering away from this article in fear of hell's fire.
Think about it though, there are several reason why men should not have a say in
what women do with their bodies.

Congratulations Sir, You're Pregnant

Why Men Should Have No Say On The Abortion Issue

For example, men have never had to face the decision of whether they should allow
a child to grow inside them. They have never been in the position of reconciling the
gift of life with the invasion of life. In fact, a man can just impregnate a woman and
walk away, which is exactly what many have done. If a man can have the right to
choose whether he wants the responsibility of fatherhood, shouldn't the woman have the same choice concerning motherhood?

Men have never been in the position of having a foreign object growing in their
bodies and being told it would be immoral to want that object removed. Men cannot
relate to the feeling personal invasion brought about by an unwanted pregnancy or
the fears of being a single mother. The woman's body is used as a vessel for life,
but it should be each woman's decision as to whether she wants to be a vessel at
that point in her life.

Daddy Isn't Here, Sweetheart

Another reason men shouldn't have a say on the abortion issue is because since the
dawn of time women have carried the majority of the burden of child rearing while
the man pursues his own interests in life. Meanwhile, the wife is tied to the home to
raise the children that both of them created. Men cannot relate to the stifling feeling
that comes from being subjected to living a life as the primary care giver. In fact,
there should be no primary care giver at all, it should be a shared responsibility.
However, when the father is not around, the woman has no other choice.

The woman knows what having a child will mean to her personal life (and yes, her
life does matter too). Sometimes the changes are welcomed, other times the future
is very scary. A man can go on with his life, his career and his own interests with
little worry about his future other than being forced to set up the baby's crib before
the mother goes into labor - if that much. However, the mother's sacrifices and
responsibilities are endless and she knows how important it is to raise children who
are productive members of society. She can't fail - even if he does shrug his
responsibilities.

Men have basically handed over parental responsibilities to the women and walked
away. Even the most well-intentioned father engages in but a small amount of the
parenting responsibilities. The women, with no other choice but to raise the children
since the father is out pursuing his career, or whatever it is that men do when they
are not at home with their families, are forced into a situation that may not even be
what that woman needs to thrive in life. She has no choice.

Does the man care that his selfishness could have a detrimental impact on the
woman? Nope. She's doing what society expects of her and he is doing whatever he
wants. It is especially difficult for women in these days when so many men just
abandon their responsibilities as fathers altogether and leave the woman completely
alone to raise the child as a single parent. Even when a father is physically around,
oft times he is not around emotionally. But again, the woman has no choice.

It Takes Two

The reason it takes both a man and a woman to make a child is because nature
knew it would take both a man and a woman to raise that child. When the man
shrugs his paternal obligation, the woman is left with a burden that wasn't meant to
be shouldered by one person.

So many conservatives believe women get recklessly pregnant and then use abortion
as birth control. This is just a tactic used to justify the imposition of their morals on
other people. Anyone who has ever been inside an abortion clinic knows abortion is
always a last resort for women. It's a desperate move to solve a desperate problem -
not a routine action.

What's even more ironic is that many times these conservatives would be the first to
rush their daughter to the abortion clinic just to save face if she ended up with an
unwanted pregnancy. Then they have the audacity to condemn the women who
choose to not have a baby because they couldn't afford to feed it or didn't want to
raise the child alone. In fact, the guy I mentioned at the start of this article
encouraged his girlfriend to have an abortion because he was afraid of what his
religious parents would think about an illegitimate child. He thinks what he did was
moral, but some abortions are not. Even worse, he is blind to his own hypocrisy.

Men, It's Time To Be A Daddy

It all too ironic that while women have been home raising the children, men have
been in politics making laws concerning women and their bodies. Men have used
their power in politics and religion to control and dominate women by telling us
what they think we can morally do with our own bodies. Imagine the arrogance!
That any man believes he has any place at all tell me what is legal for me to do with
my own body! This is why there needs to be more women legislators and religious
leaders.

I don't see men rushing to change societal expectations for maternal responsibility
concerning child rearing. I don't see them demanding the right to be more
responsible fathers or to play a more integral part in their children's lives. In fact, if
they did then they would be entitled to more say in the abortion issue. But why
should they want things to change? They've got it made in the shade. If things
changed, they'd have to pull their own weight, give up some of their own career
pursuits, and go home at a decent hour to the child waiting for dinner and a caring
hug.

In short, when men start choosing to be fathers, that's when they will have the right
to pipe in on whether women can choose to be mothers. Until then men, your
opinion just doesn't matter.

Why Men Should Have No Say On The Abortion Issue
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Stella Ramsaroop is a western world traveler, a life- long student, a wanna-be stargazer, and an Aquarius in all its forms (if you know what that means). Her articles emphasize the importance of the continued development and protection of gender equality in all aspects of a woman's life.

Stella is also the proud mother of four almost-grown children with her significant other Paul, whom she married almost 20 years ago.

Visit Stella’s Website at [http://www.newsparade.com/index.htm]

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Monday, November 19, 2012

What Are the Social and Ethical Issues Related to Surrogate Motherhood?

Whether or not Surrogate motherhood is ethical and ought to be supported is actually a tricky and hot subject in the current society.

It is one particular issue that can actually draw a line between the modern and the conservative. The issue has been a center of debate in many of the law making institutions in the world. America has been a place for rights, and has actually not been left behind in embracing the rights of women to choose not to give birth and contract the responsibility to others at a fee.

There are many reasons that may actually be given to justify the surrogacy contract. In many societies, there is actually that respect that is given to the process of procreation. At least in most of the religious institutions like Islam, Christianity, Hindu Sikhism Judaism and many others, there is a sanction that is actually given in the holy books. That actually means that there is a justification that marriage as a union should bring forth human beings. There is therefore a good justification that it may be a right of a family to have kids. When that reason is given, a woman who is not fertile can justify it if she turns to a surrogacy contract to have a child of her husband instead of adopting one. There may be other justifications which may include a possibility where a woman giving birth may actually result to risking her life due to some medical complications.

What Are the Social and Ethical Issues Related to Surrogate Motherhood?

The debate for the surrogacy contract is rather healthy at this time in most societies. Considering the societies where there are very conservative religion laws or strict traditional practices, the mention of surrogacy may not even be entertained. In such societies, it is purely against the faith, beliefs and the traditions.

The child rights activists in both developed and underdeveloped countries will also question the surrogacy arrangement. The argument is that it may purely deny a child many of its rights. Depending on the contract that is made between the contracting couple and mother, there may be or not a role that the surrogate mother may play after birth. Where laws to protect the interests of the child are silent, the child may be denied some of the basic things that he or she may require. Good time for breastfeeding may actually be denied. A child may require still that emotional attachment to the mum. This may also go in the same way for the mother. At times the surrogate mother develops an attachment to the baby and often has nothing to do about it.

There are those morality crusaders who also question the role of money in this. It is said that it is just like making money the center stage of life. They actually claim that the contract is just tantamount to giving money a higher standing in a serious matter off life. They question the integrity of women who lend their bodies for cash.

The main opponents of the surrogacy law are religious bodies. They claim that it is really going to kill the sacred institutions of the family.

What Are the Social and Ethical Issues Related to Surrogate Motherhood?
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Karen Farmer is the editor of Surrogate Motherhood [http://surrogate-motherhood.org] website. Visit our website for Surrogacy Insurance [http://surrogate-motherhood.org/content/surrogate-motherhood-and-health-insurance] information.

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